On Rushing
Do you ever find yourself walking really quickly? Or just with a particular urgency in your step?
Today I was leaving Trader Joe’s and making my way back to my car almost as if someone was running after me. And about halfway to my car I thought to myself,
Naj, why are you rushing? Why are you walking so quickly?
And I realized there was this feeling that came over me when I walked out of the store and saw how many people were in line waiting to get in. I started to overthink about how much time I had spent in the store as I’m the type of person who really enjoys a good grocery adventure. And so there was this unfounded urgency that accompanied each step. An urgency I didn’t create all on my own.
I try my best to remember this sense of rush that overcomes us isn’t something we just magically decided to do. Sure, our relationship with time is absolutely influenced by our personality, our individual experiences along with our upbringing, but it isn’t limited to just that. It’s also how we’re socialized. It is the culture we’re raised in. And all those elements impact, shape and re-inforce so much particularly our relationship with time.
In one of the restorative yoga trainings I did earlier this year our teacher Judith Lasater (who I lovingly refer to as Grandma Judith) gave us an assignment. It was simple - stop rushing. She encouraged us to investigate our relationship with time and dissect what it is we feel when we are rushing. She told us there will be times where you need to approach things with a degree of urgency, but you don’t need to rush. If it wasn’t already obvious this is clearly not an assignment I’ve mastered, but it is something I work to notice.
Important reminder about our growth, interpersonal and spiritual work - it’s not linear. You can know something and still struggle to integrate it. Just like I know I don’t need to rush or I know how beneficial it is to practice self compassion, to mediate, or to do my restorative practice and yet there are plenty of days where I don’t do those things or I struggle with them. Just remember there is a difference between knowledge and the integration of knowledge. And we spend most of our time learning to integrate knowledge imperfectly through practice and that effort is still worthwhile.
We need to remember practice does not make perfect - practice makes accessible. It doesn’t mean that once we know we don’t need to rush, that we will never rush again. I doubt today will be the last time I rush my way back to the car, but through practice I can loosen the grip on rushing. I can slowly shift my relationship with time and slow down my pace. Perhaps 80% of the time I slow down and take my time and in other circumstances I can discern what requires urgency and when I can slow down.
May you continue to practice imperfectly and know that is plenty. That frequency over duration and frequency over perfection is really what we’re aiming for and what ends up being the most human way to integrate this work anyway.
Digging Deeper
Use these questions to journal + spark conversation with others.
How do you feel mentally, physically, emotionally when you are rushing? Are there circumstances or settings where you feel this more?
How do you feel mentally, physically, emotionally when you are at ease?
What activities, environments, relationships encourage you to slow down and cultivate ease?
What is the difference between urgency and rushing? Share in your own words.
When you find yourself rushing what could you offer yourself as a reminder to slow down?